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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25054180">Retribution</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coby_Thinks/pseuds/Coby_Thinks'>Coby_Thinks</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>R&amp;R [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AND GAY, Angst, Food mentions, M/M, Mentions of sex work, Multi, Rape Aftermath, Remus is a himbo, Remus is also big dumb, Roman is big dumb, Self Hatred??, also trauma shiz, and a simp, and fluff, court mentions, does that need a tag?, etc - Freeform, for my mental health, he also attacks a bitch, he's a himbo, im a mad lad, k ill stop with the tags now, look at me, oof, posting two days in a row, self deprecation, so that happens, uhhhh, well its there now so, what else, writing lotsa fluff these dayz, yee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:22:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,040</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25054180</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coby_Thinks/pseuds/Coby_Thinks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Roman’s such a fucking idiot,” Remus growled, reaching for his phone.<br/>“Wh- Remus, what’s wrong?”<br/>“He better not be at the fucking baseball game.” Remus hissed, jabbing Roman’s contact and holding the phone up to his ear.<br/>No answer. Of course. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Warnings: Rape aftermath, Roman punches somebody, food mentions, trauma, child abuse mentions, past child abuse, past rape/non-con... angst :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Platonic DLAMPR</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>R&amp;R [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757404</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>141</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Retribution</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You’re smart,” Patton remarked a week or so later, sitting in the grass with Remus. Remus looked up from the dirt and bugs he was inspecting, surprised.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you talking about? I’m as stupid as they come.” he laughed, brushing hair out of his face and probably getting dirt on it instead. He didn’t care, though.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You are not!” Patton pouted indignantly. “You know a lot of cool random facts, and you remember them whenever you need them! School might not be your thing, but you’re still a smart guy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess.” Remus shrugged. He couldn't say that one had to be good at school to be smart - Patton hadn’t even attempted college and he was one of the brightest people Remus knew. Both personality and intelligence wise. “I’m still an idiot, though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What makes you say that?” Patton turned a page in his sketchbook, frowning at the blank paper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Remus hummed, flipping over to lay on his back and stare at the leaves, sunlight shining through and showing all their veins. He had a lot of reasons to say he was an idiot. First of all, he tried very hard to be an idiot. Then there was the lack of impulse control. Then there was the fact he’d been stupid enough to accept that drink-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey.” Patton poked his forehead with a pencil and Remus blinked, looking over. “Are you being mean to yourself in there?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Only a little mean.” Remus sighed, sitting up. He’d been feeling somewhat better recently, but he still felt mostly like shit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Roman kept checking in on him, even though he still had no idea what happened. Hm. Maybe that was why Roman kept checking in. If Remus told him, maybe Roman would be so disgusted he’d leave Remus alone? Things like that had worked in the past, after all. The summer of their junior year Roman barely spoke to him at all. But did Remus want that? Not particularly, no.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So what are you thinking about?” Patton asked, sketching lightly as he glanced between the paper and Remus.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Roman is annoying.” Remus hummed, absently picking grass and piling it on his knee.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think he’s just worried,” Patton said. “But I get that. Dee’s really overprotective, too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s never been like this before.” Remus protested. “He’s always been grossed out and annoyed by me - but now that he knows something’s wrong, it's like…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He probably has some idea, Rem,” Patton said. Remus froze, stomach dropping.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh- what? Did you tell him?” Remus turned, staring at Patton desperately. Patton shook his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Remus, I didn’t. Maybe Roman doesn’t know, maybe he’s clueless. But if he’s really worried about it, he’ll be looking into everything he sees you do to try and find out what happened.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s true…” Remus frowned, recalling that Roman had seen the baseball players who assaulted him a few days after it happened. And then he’d been worried about Remus. The thing that really worried him was an offhand comment Roman had made last night, about fighting anyone who hurt him. “Oh, shit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Roman’s such a fucking idiot,” Remus growled, reaching for his phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh- Remus, what’s wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He better not be at the fucking baseball game.” Remus hissed, jabbing Roman’s contact and holding the phone up to his ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No answer. Of course. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goddamnit.”</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>“D’you remember who they were?” Virgil asked, leaning against the fence. Roman scowled, squinting over at the dugout.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know they were on the team - I’m most interested in the guy who grabbed Remus.” Roman shrugged. “The blond over there - with the stupid fucking ponytail.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Take it easy, champ.” Virgil put a hand on his shoulder and rolled his eyes. “Wait till after the game is over, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to find out what he did, and then I’m going to-” Roman frowned when his phone buzzed and pulled it out, wincing at Remus’s contact picture. “Why’s he calling me now? He’s been trying to avoid me for a week because of whatever that stupid asshole did to him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can call him back later.” Virgil shrugged. “He’s with Patton right now, remember? He’s okay. They’re just about done over there, did you wanna catch this guy in the parking lot?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to do a lot of things,” Roman muttered, silencing his phone and stuffing it back in his pocket. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He followed Virgil around to the edge of the baseball fields, watching as the asshole in question made his way toward the parking lot with a few of his friends. The same ones who had been with him when he spoke to Remus that day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Roman grabbed his shoulder, catching him off guard and pulling him around so he could look at this guys face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck?” the baseball player frowned, pulling out of Roman’s grip only to run into Virgil - who was admittedly a lot scarier than Roman was. “What is this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you do?” Roman snarled, hands curling into fists. “What did you do to him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who the fuck - wait a second.” his face split into a cruel grin. “You’re that slut’s brother, aren’t you?” Roman tensed, eyes narrowing. No. No way. No way this guy did what he’s implying. “What, did he tell you about it and you’re interested?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have three seconds to shut up.” Roman hissed, mind spinning furiously. This piece of shit...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Or what?” the guy chuckled. “Emo here’s gonna punch me? Please. D’you beat up all your brothers one night stands? He barely even fought back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Roman…” Virgil reached for his shoulder, but Roman pushed him away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you do!” he snarled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, he might’ve stood a chance if he wasn’t such a stupid whore. Accepted a drink from some random stranger, who does that unless they want-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up!” Roman lunged forward, punching him right in that stupid mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh- fuck off, man!” the guy scrambled away, cupping his bleeding mouth in his hand. “It’s not my fault your brothers such a fucking-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to murder him.” Roman stalked forward. “I’m going to-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Roman.” someone grabbed his arm and Roman tried to pull away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up, Virgil! I don’t care! He-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Roman, enough.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Roman froze as he realized the voice wasn’t that of his boyfriend. It was Dee, one of the people who had been helping Remus. He stopped fighting to get away, glaring murder as the baseball player got into his car with his friends and drove off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you here?” Roman frowned, pulling away at last and glaring at him. Virgil watched worriedly from a few feet away. “You’ve been trying to keep me away from Remus all week, and I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Roman froze, swallowing thickly as he realized what he’d just learned. What that piece of garbage had done. He remembered all the times he spoke of his brother's lifestyle, telling him it would never end well, and that he’d be sorry. Telling Remus that he’d be alone when it went bad, because he had no friends and Roman wasn’t going to clean up his brother's mess.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck.” Roman buried his face in his hands and Dee stepped back, letting Virgil walk over and pull Roman into a hug. “Jesus Christ… Vee…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” Virgil soothed, holding him tighter. “I know, Roman. But Dee’s right. It won’t fix anything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I fucked up.” Roman choked out, mimicking what Remus had said to him a mere week ago. “It's no fucking surprise Remus didn’t want me around, god. Of course he didn’t want to tell me what happened. I’m such an asshole.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t have gone looking for that guy.” Dee sighed, dragging a hand down his face. “Not only was it stupid and reckless, but Remus wasn’t going to tell you what happened to him until he was ready. Now, you’ve gone and fucked it up. Good job.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, back off man!” Virgil snapped. “You think Roman wanted this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If he was a better brother, Remus wouldn’t have avoided him!” Dee snapped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck are you talking about? They’re brothers, they fight! Remus avoided everyone and everything, not just Roman!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, well-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I fucking knew it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Roman gasped, pulling from Virgil’s embrace to see Remus and Patton standing a few yards away in the now empty parking lot. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I knew you were gonna be stupid and go looking for that guy, goddamnit. What if he hurt you?!” Remus demanded, throwing his hands in the air. Roman looked away, shame and guilt bubbling up in his stomach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rem, I’m so sorry, I-” Roman’s voice broke and he closed his eyes, shaking his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...what’d he tell you?” Remus asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe we should… get someplace else.” Patton suggested softly. Roman opened his eyes to see Patton staring oddly at Dee. “I think we all need to talk.”</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Remus didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what that guy had said to Roman - how he’d spun the story, how much he’d said, or what Roman believed. He also didn’t know why Dee was so angry at Roman - he barely knew the guy. How the heck did he know what kind of brother Roman was?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Remus…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Remus looked up at Roman, who was sitting across the table in Dee’s kitchen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m… I’m so sorry.” Roman’s head fell and his shoulders shook, and Remus realized he was crying. Why was he crying? What did that guy do to him? What… was he crying over Remus?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh- you didn’t do anything!” Remus threw his hands in the air. “You were just being an annoying protective brother, Roman! Why are you sorry?” a sinking feeling filled Remus’ chest. “What did he tell you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I know you didn’t want me to know.” Roman buried his face in his hands. “And I know why you didn’t - I’m such a jerk. I told you I’d leave you to deal with your own mess, and you believed me. I’d never… I would never have… I’m-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You… aren’t gonna leave?” Remus’s shoulders fell and he stared at Roman in disbelief. Roman choked out a sob, shaking his head. “B-but… you warned me about this, Roman! I didn’t listen to you, so it’s my faul-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up!” Roman jumped to his feet, chair flying back. “Shut the fuck up, Remus! It wasn’t your goddamn fault!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Both of you need to calm the hell down.” Virgil stepped forward, putting a hand on Roman’s chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh- I’m not gonna calm down!” Roman yelled. Remus winced, running a hand through his hair to try and hide it. But, unfortunately, Roman noticed. He sighed, picking up his chair and sitting back down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t think… I thought you’d be mad at me.” Remus said softly after a moment had passed. Roman sighed, rubbing his eyes before combing a hand through his hair, making it stand on end before flattening it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not mad at you. I could never be mad at you for this, Remus. You were drugged, and you said no. What about that makes this your fault?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...I dunno.” Remus admitted, tugging idly at a strand of hair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See,” Dee spoke up from where he sat next to Patton, speaking for the first time since they sat down. “I told you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You aren’t off the hook either, mister.” Patton folded his arms. “You were downright awful to Roman - what was that about?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He was right,” Roman muttered dejectedly. “If I hadn’t said those things-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter what you said.” Remus scoffed. “I didn’t even go to my forensics class after this, Roman. If you were my favorite person on earth, I’d still have ran away from you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...oh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See? Now can we please have a calm discussion about this?” Virgil folded his arms, glancing between the two of them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Neither of us are calm people.” Remus pointed out. Roman made a face at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can be calm!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Prove it.” Remus grinned, running a hand through his hair to make it stand up wildly. Roman sighed, rubbing his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay.” he shook his head, meeting Remus’s eyes again. “So, that happened to you. Are you okay, like… are you safe and- was he threatening you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Remus hadn’t expected Roman to be able to be calm. He frowned, picking at the table. “Uh, he’s just a jerk,  I guess. Um…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You need to report this,” Roman said softly. Remus frowned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t need to do anything.” he shrugged. “And it’s not worth the hassle, Ro. He’s some rich white baseball player - what are they going to do? Call his mommy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh- you might as well try!” Roman threw his hands in the air, ending the calm few moments. Remus chuckled. “Come on, dude. The Remus I know wouldn’t take this shit from anyone, let alone some trust-fund kid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, get off his back!” Dee snapped. Remus frowned, watching Roman curiously. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No!” Roman stood up again, less angrily. Passionately. The way he did everything. “Obviously I’m a shit brother because you have no idea how I actually see you!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How is that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m warning you,” Dee stood slowly, hands clenching into fists.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up, Dee.” Remus rolled his eyes. “How do you see me, Roman? I was under the impression you thought I was a hopeless dumbass, destined for failure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh- no!” Roman sighed, shoulders slumping. “I mean, you’re a dumbass, but I’m pretty sure that’s on purpose.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fair.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve known who you are and what you wanted since we were like, nine years old.” Roman waved a hand towards him. “And nobody messes with you twice, because they end up regretting it. Don’t think I’ve forgotten the spaghetti incident of Ninth grade.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“T’was a good one.” Remus smiled, tilting his head. “Well, it sound like my bro-bro cares about me! Who’da thunk! Roman’s just a big ol’ cuddly teddy bear, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re trying to make me take it back, but I won't.” Roman folded his arms smugly. “You’re not the only stubborn one.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Remus grinned, thoughts darting from one idea to the other, Roman’s words filling the gaps. Huh. Roman might have a point… he had a reputation, after all. No one fucks with Remus without regretting it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, you’ve convinced me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh- what? What the hell just happened?” Dee stared at him, then at Roman. “I mean, I agree that you- what the fuck?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t question it if you’re glad I agree.” Remus sighed, stomach twisting. “How are we supposed to do this, then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know just who to call,” Patton said gently, bumping Remus with his shoulder. Remus glanced around, relief flooding his mind. If this wasn’t enough to drive friends away, he was pretty sure nothing would.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>“Why was Dee so…” Remus trailed off, looking over at Patton sitting beside him. Patton frowned, tapping his pencil on the top of his sketchbook. “Angry at Roman?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dee…” Patton sighed, smiling sadly. “He’s really protective of me, y’know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’ve figured that out.” Remus laughed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He wasn’t always close to me,” Patton said. “We grew up together, but he’s four years older than me. He was the… he was the favorite child.” Remus frowned, sitting up from where he’d been sprawled on the grass. “Then when our dad got arrested, and he found out what happened to me…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Remus nodded, feeling sick and angry at the thought of what had happened. He didn’t know details, but Patton was his best friend as of late. He knew the gist of what happened. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, he hated himself about it. For ages. That’s why he was saying those things about Roman - because he thinks them about himself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“O-oh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s wrong, obviously.” Patton rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t his fault, and he had his own life going on. But he took me in to prevent me from going into the foster system, and we’ve lived together ever since. He started the cafe a few years ago.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Remus nodded, knocking their shoulders together playfully. Patton giggled, bumping him back. “That makes sense, I guess. Sorry for asking.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, you care about your brother.” Patton shrugged. “I get it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’re you drawing?” Remus leaned over, glimpsing the page in Patton’s lap. The rough sketch of a person lying down met his eyes and Patton laughed awkwardly. Oh. “Wait a second, were you drawing me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that okay?” Patton asked sheepishly. Remus beamed, wrapping Patton in a hug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course! I just didn’t think you’d want to, Roman’s the pretty one.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...aren’t you identical?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Technically, yeah, but still.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re plenty pretty.” Patton booped his nose with the pencil. Remus flushed, sitting back. Patton giggled, looking away. “Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Guess I better get back in position!” Remus flopped onto the grass, staring at the sky as his heart pounded. “So you can finish your drawing!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t - oh, well I guess if you want me to.” Patton laughed, adjusting his grip on the pencil. “You better keep talking with me, though. It’d be weird to just sit here in silence now that you know I’m drawing you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, okay, what do ya wanna talk about?” Remus asked, picking the grass absently and piling it on his stomach. Patton hummed thoughtfully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dogs.”</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>“I cannot believe you talked me into this.” Remus grumped, scuffing his shoe across the floor. He was wearing one of his favorite outfits today - although with a full-length shirt instead of a crop top like usual. It made him feel more confident, despite the building he was sitting in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It won’t be that bad, Rem,” Patton promised. “I’ve heard great things about this guy, y’know? It’ll help. It helped me, at least.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Remus sighed, not voicing the thoughts in his mind. The ones that said that, despite what Remus knew, this whole thing had been his fault. What happened to Patton? Patton didn’t deserve that. Remus, on the other hand… he’d had it coming for a long time.</span>
</p>
<p><span><br/></span> <span>“Remus Grimm?” Remus looked up unhappily when the secretary stood, gesturing for him to follow. “Dr. Picani is ready for you.”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>“Last chance to lie and go to a movie instead,” Remus whispered to Patton, who giggled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope! D’you want me to go with you, though?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah.” Remus sighed and stood up, stuffing his hands in his pockets. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be here when you’re done!” Patton said cheerfully. Remus nodded, walking over to the office and ducking inside, eyebrows raised at the cheerful pastel room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Was Patton sure this guy wasn’t like… a kids' therapist? There were toys all over the place and cartoon posters on the walls.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“New patient!” Picani - whose pastel self had blended into the room until he spoke - smiled and adjusted his glasses. “Do you how do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh… I’m ok…” Remus sat on the couch across from the guy, looking around the room once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, no reason to be nervous, Remus!” Picani waved a hand. “This is just an intake appointment, y’know? Just relax, tell me about yourself! That can’t be too hard, can it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Remus found he had no answer to that, so he just shrugged and stared down at his shoes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Remus is your preferred name, right?” Picani backtracked, looking down at his notebook. “I didn’t see any other names on your paperwork?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, yeah… Remus is fine.” Remus snorted lightly, pulling at a strand of hair. “I’m just not so sure about… all this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All what? Therapy?” Picani chuckled. “You decided to come, didn’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, cuz Patton said it might help,” Remus sighed. “But I don’t know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who is Patton?” Picani asked casually, jotting something down in his notebook.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s…” Remus hesitated, tasting the word on his tongue before continuing. “He’s my... Uh, friend.” Friend. Hah, what a weird thing to have. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why the hesitation?” Picani frowned. “Everything alright with him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh- oh, yeah, of course!” Remus’s eyes widened and he sat up straighter, shaking his head. “I know he’s my friend, and he’s cool and nice and stuff, I’m just not used to having friends.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, so he’s a recent friend?” Picani leaned forward, putting his pencil down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess. I mean, I met him a few weeks ago…” Remus grimaced as he recalled their meeting in the rain. “He helped me out, for whatever reason, and now we’re friends. I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And before that?” Picani frowned. “What’d you do if you weren’t hanging out with friends?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh…” Remus looked at the floor again, stomach twisting as he thought about his hobbies. “Mostly just school… and work…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, where do you work?” Picani smiled, obviously trying to distract Remus from his nervousness. Unfortunately, he didn’t know what was coming.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well…” Remus sighed. “I don’t exactly have, like, a job... and I haven’t worked for a few weeks. I uh… guess you could call it a ‘booty call’ situation.” He avoided Picani’s gaze as he gave his explanation, instead looking over at a Steven Universe poster.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, I see.” Picani nodded, making a few more notes. “Well, there’s nothing wrong with that, so long as you’re safe and happy with your work, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I used to think that.” Remus sighed, shoulders falling. “But I wouldn’t really be here if I was safe and happy, would I?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do recall reading something about a recent trauma…” Picani said slowly. “But I’d never press you for information, Remus. I want to help you see the world, and yourself, in a better light. I just want to be a friend, give advice. That kinda thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aren’t you like… a trauma specialist?” Remus frowned in confusion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, yes, but I don’t want to focus our sessions on just that.” Picani shrugged. “There’s so much more to you than whatever happened.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm.” Remus rubbed his face, already exhausted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want to talk about something else?” Picani offered gently. “Like I said, this is an intake. If you don’t like me, you can decide not to become a full patient of mine. You can even leave through that door right now if you want.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really?” Remus lifted his head, surprised. “But-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you don’t want to be here, I won’t make you stay,” Picani promised. “But I do want to help you. Patton wants to help you. I’m sure there are other people who care about you, too. Don’t you have a brother?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Remus laughed sadly. “My twin. He wanted me to come, too. But I don’t really care what he thinks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, what do you care about?” Picani asked, tilting his head. “You’ve got to be passionate about something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Remus frowned, looking over at the door, then back at Picani. He could tell that the offer to leave was still open, and probably always would be. But…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Forensics.” Remus managed a smile, clasping his hands together. “I want to be a forensic scientist.”</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>It was slow going, Remus found. Talking to lawyers, University staff, and other people he barely cared to remember, was exhausting and complicated. Finally, though, Remus got a call from the woman representing him in court - which was only a few weeks away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Remus, this is very important.” She said immediately, making Remus anxious. “Did he imply at all, that night, that he’d done something like this before?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...yeah.” Remus grimaced, lying down on his bed and staring at the ceiling. He could vividly recall the mocking tone in which his assaulter bragged about the different people he’d taken advantage of. ‘It always works’ he’d said to a friend, supporting Remus as he guided them to a different room. ‘Never had a struggle, really.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did he mention anyone specific?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.” Remus sighed. “I don’t know, maybe? I just know he said… stuff. I wasn’t exactly coherent at the moment.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s alright.” She promised. “We’ve had two witnesses come forward claiming similar stories. We’re checking them out, but this improves our chances of getting him off that campus.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. Good.” Remus rubbed his eyes, looking over as Logan entered the dorm room, dropping his backpack and raising an eyebrow. “Court still on the Fifteenth?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, it is.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anything else ya gotta tell me?” Remus asked, hoping he didn’t come off as rude.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re right.” the woman said intensely. “No matter what the jury says at the end of this, You know what happened and you’ve faced the consequences. Don’t forget that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hah, yeah.” Remus smiled. “Thanks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” Logan asked once the call had ended. Remus sighed, draping an arm over his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, Nerd. I’m perfect, y’know? Living my best life. Why wouldn’t I be alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can call Patton, if you like.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can call Patton if I want to call Patton.” Remus snapped, sitting up and glaring over at his roommate. “Jesus, get off my back alright? Just cuz you’re friends with my brother doesn’t mean you have to act like a mother hen!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I…” Logan nodded, adjusting his glasses. “Apologies, Remus. I’m simply trying to help. Roman isn’t the only one I consider a friend, after all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh…” Remus stared at him, surprised. He hadn’t considered… though it made sense looking back. “S-Sorry… I’m not used to people wanting to be friends with me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Perhaps you never opened yourself up to the option.” Logan smiled sadly, retrieving a textbook from his bag. “Do let me know if you need anything, I’ll study in the kitchen to give you some space.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right.” Remus watched him leave, still baffled. After a moment, he grabbed his phone and hit Patton’s contact. He answered nearly right away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Remus! What’s up?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...am I a good person?” Remus asked, still staring at the door Logan had left through.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course you are!” Patton laughed lightly. “Why do you ask?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I…” Remus swallowed thickly, shaking his head. “Do people… like me? As a person?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I sure do,” Patton replied. “So does Dee, and Logan.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, just found out.” Remus laughed sadly. “He… do other people just like me as a person? Am I an idiot for thinking they didn’t? What… what am I supposed to do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think a lot of people like you as a person, Rem,” Patton said. “Are you okay? You’re kinda… worrying me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m… okay.” Remus hummed. “Just… I dunno. I kinda thought… nobody would want to know me as anything but a… y’know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re worth more than that.” Patton insisted. “If you want to keep doing sex work, that’s up to you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know.” Remus groaned. “I won’t for a while, that’s for sure. But I just never… realized anyone would appreciate me for more than that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A lot of people do.” Remus flopped down on his bed again, listening to Patton talk. “You’re smart and funny, and you want to help people.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to look at some fucked up crime scene shit, actually.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that really the only reason you want to be a forensic scientist?” Patton laughed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, you got me. Maybe the idea of helping people makes me happy. But I have a reputation to maintain, Patton!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And I have a friend to cheer up!” Patton shot back. “Your laugh is contagious, and you can memorize things so easily it drives Logan crazy!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It does?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t tell him I told you.” Patton giggled. “But yeah. And you have an awesome sense of style, I couldn't pull off punk nearly as well as you do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, who wants that?” Remus scoffed. “Pastel is your calling, Patton.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if I wanted to be punk?” Patton pouted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You could be pastel punk.” Remus reasoned. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That sounds like a lot of effort, actually.” Patton sighed. “I dunno if I’m up for it, but that’s what I mean! You’re so cool!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ya think so?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have I ever lied to you before?”</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>“That sucked,” Remus mumbled into his pillow, not really expecting Patton to hear or respond. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” Patton must have heard him after all. Remus was positive he had supersonic hearing or something. “But you did it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mmm.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You did it, and we won.” Patton continued softly. “He’s off-campus, scholarships revoked… it's on his permanent record.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mmm.” Remus knew he should be celebrating. He should be happy. But he wasn’t. He just felt like shit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know how you feel.” Patton sighed, leaning against the wall. “Everyone else expects you to be happy, though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck them.” Remus lifted his head to make sure he was heard clearly, and Patton snickered. Remus buried his face in the pillows again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When my dad went to prison, I felt the same way,” Patton said softly. Remus nodded. “I felt like, I dunno, I’d ruined his life. It didn’t matter, because him going to prison didn’t undo what he did. Y’know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Remus rolled onto his back and sighed, meeting Patton’s gaze. “Maybe I shoulda just lit his car on fire and been done with it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’d go well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“As long as I didn’t get caught.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Patton giggled again and Remus smiled. His laugh was infectious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does it get better?” He’d asked Patton that a lot, recently. After hearing about what happened to him, but Patton had never answered. Patton hummed, tilting his head back and forth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think so.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Remus looked at him in surprise. He hadn’t changed the subject.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s never gonna go away, but… you won’t think about it as much. You’ll be happy again. You’ll feel excited again, and you’ll progress.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll feel stuck for a while, first,” Patton noted. “But you’ll get past it. Y’know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess so.” Remus sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I’m tired, Pat. I don’t want to deal with this anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” Patton reached over, brushing hair off of Remus’s face. “D’you wanna sleep? Or like, watch a movie?” Remus frowned, thinking it over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you like horror movies?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...you want to watch a horror movie?” Patton laughed. “Why?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They calm me down.” Remus shrugged, sitting up. “We can watch something else, too. We don’t have to watch something scary.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re weird,” Patton informed him, adjusting his glasses. “I’ll watch a horror movie as long as we can eat snacks. And I’m allowed to hug you in the scary parts.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Deal.” Remus grinned, finally getting off his bed and following Patton out to the living room of his apartment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He still felt like shit - but according to Patton and everyone else, that was okay.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Remus really really hoped they were right about that.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Do you want more from this universe?<br/>Let me know anything you'd like to see! ^-^</p>
<p>Love you all,<br/>-Coby</p></blockquote></div></div>
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